We can't control all of our thoughts, but we can manage the direction of our thoughts.
Once we recognize that we are not our thoughts, that they come when they come, and there are many of them - some research says many tens of thousands a day - we can learn to be unattached, and our confidence no longer depends on what we think.
What a relief, isn’t it?
Let this sink in for a moment. What if your confidence did not depend on what you think? What if you could hear and just notice thoughts?
Will you try it? Practice being unattached. Be an observer, with awareness, without judgement. Step back and be a little curious.
It is only when we attach meaning to events with our thoughts that our reality is created. You aren't stuck with any certain meaning…even if you've had an old tape running for decades. It's changeable.
Let’s say I make a mistake at work. My thought is something like, “What an idiot. Why would I screw that up?"
Or my thought is, “I made a mistake. That's not what I intended.”
Aren’t I likely to feel quite different? Isn’t the former likely to negatively affect my confidence? Of course, Ellie, you say.
And guess what – most of us do this many, many times a day to ourselves - How mean! So while this may not be news to you, very few people actually take a hold of where their focus goes.
So, watch your own mind! And you may not want to go in there alone.
Building this mental muscle of observation without judgement takes lots of practice. Managing your mind is the foundation for success. You can have all the systems, marketing, goals, planning, etc… but if you aren’t running the show of your mind, you won’t happily and easily get to where you are meant to be.
Want help building your mental muscles? Whether I'm working with a business owner or a leader within a company, work on the mind is always a foundation piece of deep change. Book a consult below.
P.S.
Whenever you are ready to take your growth and success to the next level, here are 4 ways to work with me:
1. Bold New Boundaries, 2.0. This master level program will start this Spring. Please contact me for details or to apply.
2. Apply the Enneagram as your personal development map. I'm now offering stand alone sessions even if you aren't a client. The Enneagram is an incredible, profound tool for looking at how you think, act, and feel, and it offers many strategies for growth.
3. 1:1 coaching. Tailored plans for individual needs/goals. 3- 12 months.
4. Thinking partnership. Do you have a business idea, a project, or an idea? You want to strategize, brainstorm? This is not coaching - it's focused and short term. Email me with thinking partnership in the subject line, and we'll talk about how this may serve you.
Interested in any of the above, email me: ellielanecoaching@gmail.com
If you haven't received my confidence guide and could use some quick, easy tips click here.