People pleaser alert:
Clear and firm boundaries are not selfish. Not mean. Not bitchy.
They are an expression of compassion towards yourself and others.
Knowing what is ok and not ok for you in terms of how you are treated and how you treat yourself is a very clear way to build self-confidence.
Why?
Because acting in accordance with your true values builds self-confidence.
Because treating yourself well builds a sense of, I matter, and that builds self-confidence.
Because it is much easier to feel confident when we are not exhausted from over-giving.
Setting clear and firm boundaries also communicates, I respect myself and my time, and you should too.
I was working with a client last year who had taken on a new, high-powered job while running her own business.
She worked with me on setting boundaries from the start so that she didn’t soon find herself overwhelmed working 100 hours a week.
This can be hard, depending on your work culture and the lessons you learned in childhood.
When you know your value (write yourself a list of ALL the experience, trainings, knowledge you bring to your work), it’s easier to be clear with a boss about what you are willing to do.
Clear and firm boundaries also give you freedom!
If you are willing to work endlessly, over time, you obviously lose other parts of your life.
If you are always available when certain people want you, over time, you lose your energy.
When you feel overly responsible for the feelings of others too much of the time, becoming tired or resentful, you might lose the essence of your loving soul.
By the way, if you are a mom, by role modeling this way of being for your girls and boys, you are demonstrating what respect, love, taking charge of your life, confidence and freedom looks like.
I feel so strongly about the concept of healthy boundaries for women, that I created a group.
Building Boundaries for Work & Life
Our next 4 session group begins Wed. May 12th 5-6:30 EST on Zoom.
Learn the 3 reasons it can be hard to set boundaries
Create and maintain space for yourself
Lose the guilt
Communicate what you want clearly
Set new parameters for when/how you give of yourself that is in alignment for YOU
Build new beliefs around the concept of selfishness
Effectively handle push back from people in your life
Take new weekly steps, putting boundaries in place
Enjoy weekly support on your goals
Please contact me at coachellielane@gmail.com to schedule a brief chat to see if this group is a good fit for you.
For more information visit: ellielanecoaching.com/programs
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