For many women, speaking up or taking up space is uncomfortable at best, downright terrifying and the thing to most avoid, at worst.
What if I’m not good enough, smart enough or what I say or do means rejection?
What if I upset someone I love? Will they still love me? What if I fail? No one listens, I’m ignored, or insulted?
What if my intuitions or ideas are flawed?
I have too much to say, but what’s actually important, needed, wanted?
Longstanding worries carve deep grooves in the sub-conscious and can live there until we excavate and create new firmly planted beliefs in the mind. That’s the long game –
What do we do now to speak up and take up space?
First, find the courage to start. For some people this is so accessible – they just do stuff. For others, it feels like trudging up the tallest mountain or crawling out of a deep pit.
(whatever the thing is – a tough conversation, a new project), move through those doubts and fears, perfectionism, whatever is in the way.
Don’t allow yourself to stay stuck in the thoughts – they will steal your precious time and attention. The first principle of personal power is taking the power away from your thoughts.
In the ancient Jewish tradition, there is a teaching that says, first do then understand. The essence of something’s value will then become clear.
Start experimenting by taking small steps. Awkward, uncomfortable movement with mistakes FULL of learning.
You know the toddler metaphor? I use it a lot. Babies/toddlers don’t hang around thinking, can I do this thing called walking? They just go. Fall. Go. Fall. Go. They are experimenting until they get it. Of course, their drive is innate and that’s the most powerful one, but we can still draw from the baby experience.
We all had that courage back then, and it’s still within you.
Finding your voice or taking up space actually occurs in the doing. The practicing.
It’s easy to get tangled in trying to figure out the how.
One of the absolute best books I’ve read lately is, Cassandra Speaks When Women are the Storytellers The Human Story Changes.
Holy moly, if the topic of women’s advancement and empowerment is in your heart – which it SHOULD BE if you’re on the receiving end of this newsletter –
READ this book.
Elizabeth Lesser speaks loud and clear to me about how it’s time to shift the power model in the world.
Speaking up, yes I’ll use the word, authentically – in a way that fits for you- and taking up space – in a way that fits for you, is crucial for the landscape of the future of our girls and boys.
I urge you – for you, for others who can learn and benefit from your wisdom, for next generations, go take one baby step right now.
A few steps I’ve taken recently that I am amped up about.
The fall cohort of UNCRAMP YOUR LEADERSHIP STYLE is off and running, and I’m excited to offer it again Jan. 2023. {see below}
Stay tuned for an end of year deep dive, precious time carved out for you to:
Have your thinking challenged
Propel yourself forward
Enter the discomfort and excitement of what's next for you
Give yourself permission to grow in ways you didn't think were possible
Dream bigger than before
And...
Whenever you are ready to take your growth and success to the next level, here are 4 ways to work with me:
1. Uncramp your Leadership Style. A four month 1:1/microgroup hybrid for driven women with a track record of success, expanding their leadership and putting the kibash on thinking patterns and habits that disrupt their progress. FALL GROUP IS FULL - EMAIL ME FOR 2023 PROGRAM INFO.
*** Unleash your Leadership Style for our next 25-40 year old cohort begins Jan. 2023
2. Use the Enneagram as your personal development map. I'm now offering stand alone sessions even if you aren't a client. The Enneagram is a profound tool for looking at how you think, act, and feel, and a true guide with many strategies for growth. 2 spots open this fall season.
3. 1:1 coaching. Tailored plans for individual needs/goals. 3- 12 month engagements.
4. Thinking partnership. Do you have a business idea, a project, or an idea? You want to strategize, brainstorm? This is not coaching - it's focused and short term, a space to work out your next big life shift. Email me with thinking partnership in the subject line, and we'll talk about how this may serve you.
Interested in any of the above, email me: ellielanecoaching@gmail.com
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