I wrote this for StudenttoCEO over a year ago, a website for emerging college grads interested in entrepreneurship, as self-employment began looking more and more desirable for many and necessary for some.
There is no better time than right now to become your own boss. The availability of online trainings and resources and the booming entrepreneurial world makes creating your own business more viable and exciting.
High level leadership skills are essential for your success both individually and as you lead your team or become your own boss.
Here, I have collected some of the of the most important tools of leadership from more than two decades running my own therapy/coaching practice, and from extensive research on this topic.
Notice how much focus there is on emotional intelligence, or EQ. Without a high level of EQ, there is a huge lack in effectiveness as a leader.
You can know your product or service inside and out, but if you are missing good communication skills and empathy as a leader, for example, people are more likely to go elsewhere.
These are not in any particular order; however, I do believe the first three are necessary to build a strong foundation.
Self-awareness: This means having a deep understanding of your emotions, values, mission, strengths, challenges, needs and blind spots. Recognizing how your thoughts and feelings affect you and those around you allows you to be a stronger leader. Self-aware people can realistically assess their capabilities as well as know when it’s best to ask for help.
Self-Regulation: Managing and monitoring one’s emotions is crucial for excellent leadership. The more you understand and take responsibility for your own emotions and act reasonably, the healthier your company or organization will be; you will create a culture of trust and fairness, whether you have one assistant or 100 employees. Sometimes we think of self-regulation as it relates to a toddler or a teenager, but really, this is a developed skill everyone needs to address, otherwise some leaders can unknowingly erode trust and thereby their most valued work relationships. Impulsivity and lack of integrity are the causes of many bad circumstances within companies.
What is your WHY? Be incredibly clear on your mission and purpose. When you run your own business, and you hit bumps in the road, which inevitably happens, staying in touch with your deep WHY is key for progress. Writing it out, many times, and posting it up so you can read it is powerful. When people understand the company values, they come to work with a high sense of purpose. Commitment, innovation, weathering hard times and failure all become easier. Thomas Edison was driven by a higher cause and said, “I didn’t find a way to make a lightbulb, I found a thousand ways how not to make one.”
Communication: How you communicate is vital – manage your body language and your tone of voice well, and you’ll see the positive impact you can have. Research shows this breakdown in how communication is delivered
7% of communication is words
38% of communication is tone of voice
55% of communication is body language
This becomes exponentially important in the world of digital work because of course we have to really tune in and pay close attention online. These numbers stress the degree of importance.
Establish presence: How do you approach others? How is your eye contact, your body language, your posture or handshake? Confidence and calm go a very long way. Sitting up or standing tall, taking up space, being present, focused and calm are ways to accomplish this.
Collaboration: The old top down style of leadership is no longer accepted by many. Discussions based on mutual respect and understanding is now the norm. People want to work for/with people who listen well, value their input, and create a supportive and enjoyable culture. Weekly or daily check ins with your teams, in which they have a chance to voice concerns, contribute ideas, creates a powerful culture in your business. If you work alone with no team, consider ways to collaborate with relevant business owners.
Courage to be vulnerable: People respect people being real. This does not mean an emotional purge; it means being willing to discuss difficult feelings, owning up to one’s mistakes, being authentic, and being open to feedback. There is still widespread belief that being vulnerable is weak. From my point of view, it’s the opposite, and a growing body of writing supports the belief that both courage and vulnerability are critical for leadership. Read Daring Greatly or Dare to Lead for more on this topic.
Radical self-care: You might not think this is a key part of great leadership. However, the better you are at taking care of yourself, staying out of overwhelm, and away from burnout, the better you’ll be able to achieve all of the other skills, and then be the leader you want to be. Many people who are driven towards success also work themselves into the ground. Sometimes putting everyone else’s needs above your own means self -neglect that will catch up with you.
Avoid the disease to please: Women, especially, get caught in the trap of being nice and wanting to be liked. Instead, think hard about your priorities, what you want to achieve in your life, rather than worrying about everyone liking you.
Authentic empathy: Real genuine interest and understanding in the people you work with and who work for you will be felt and deeply appreciated. It seems so basic yet is often overlooked. You will make a positive impact on them, then they will want to continue working with you.
Lead by example: Be the leader you would like to have leading you. What are the qualities you would most like in your CEO? Write these out and use this as a compass for your own leadership.
Don’t do it alone.
Create a board, join a network, hire a coach, have mentors, but whatever you do, be sure to have a strong, varied network of support.
Often when business owners are starting out, they think they can not afford or aren’t at the level of needing help, but I can tell you from my own experience, and from the many business owners I know, if you work with excellent supports from the beginning, you succeed far more quickly and happily than if you go it alone.
Your skills, emotional intelligence and behaviors shape your success and leadership. Take an honest look at yourself, celebrate your strengths and work to overcome any self-limiting thoughts and behaviors so you can soar!
Reading suggestions:
Strengths Based Leadership by Don Clifton
Fierce Conversations! Achieving Success at Work & Life, One Conversation at a Time by Susan Scott
Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
How Women Rise by Marshall Goldsmith & Sally Helgesen
Anything You Want by Derek Sivers
Entrepreneur Revolution by Daniel Priestly
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action by Simon Sinek
The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal by Jim Loehr
The 80/20 Manager: The Secret To Working Less and Achieving More by Richard Koch
Happy reading!
With love,
Ellie
P.S.
Whenever you are ready to take your growth and success to the next level, here are 4 ways to work with me:
1. Advancing Women Leaders Program. Begin Sept. only a few spots available.
2. Apply the Enneagram as your personal development map. I'm now offering stand alone sessions even if you aren't a client. The Enneagram is an incredible, profound tool for understanding how you think, act, and feel, and it offers many strategies for growth.
3. 1:1 coaching. Tailored plans for individual needs/goals. 3- 12 months.
4. Thinking partnership. Do you have a business idea, a project, or an idea? You want to strategize, brainstorm? This is not coaching - it's focused and short term. Email me with thinking partnership in the subject line, and we'll talk about how this may serve you.
Interested in any of the above, email me: ellielanecoaching@gmail.com